What The Fuck Did You Do Last Night?

Hey loser I know you think you had fun last night and that's awesome--but we both know it's a lie. Because I didn't see you at Red White & Bruised which as everyone who was there knows was the only place in the world anyone was having any fun. It's cool though I know you really wanted to see the new Die Hard, grab a bite to eat, and floss so I'll cut you some slack and tell you all about it.

We know we have arrived when we see the bikers and girls on skates. They have a bar at the Dulles Sportsplex which is good because we're at a roller derby event. The armbands actually said beer on them. As Steen, Chris, and I watch the event we understand the rules nearly as well as I understand Soccer rules. To get around this we invented the Roller Derby motto: "Don't know, don't care, roller derby!"
The half time show was swing dancing. I'm sure it was really good, I have no proof of this because I was at the bar.

We saw a woman grab a left over beer and just carry it off. I can only assume she drank it.

Scare Force One our favorite team, who is also undefeated, had a mascot named Eric. I had to get a picture with him.I demand that we find the Roller Derby after party because there has to be one. Sure enough there is one at Asylum in Adams Morgan. They also provide a party bus to and from the games.

Chris is more into this sport than Steen and I, which is cool because he started to get autographs. We hop the metro also know as the slow piece of shit. Asylum is packed with bikers and roller derby girls. Also dudes is the office loser uniform polo shit, new faded jeans, and dress shoes. Chris gets more autographs, I drop a beer, and we argue about who gave who what sexually transmitted disease on the metro home. Chris asking people on the metro their opinion on the matter. I think the debate ended finally with Steen has the super clap.