Oh, the humanity!

There's someone you should meet. The fellow on the right's name is Will. Short for Stupid William, this little fucker is the house mascot/resident jungle cat/King of the Universe, at least in his own warped mind.

Why do you need to know Will? Well, because he pretty much sets the tone for the house. His violence, and he is violent, is reflected in our violence, the nightly living room kung fu battles, greeting friends and company with "Hey, Stupid!" and grinning like a bandit at times of conquest.

Will Facts:

Will will drop the nastiest deuce in the history of bean burritos, walk through the living room, and wink at you. Wink.
Will does not care if he is taking up the entire couch for he is giant, and you are weak.
Will can and intends to bite off your left arm.
Will is smarter than you.
When Will is fully grown, he will kill the next monster pig.
Will cares not who or what you are, you are owned by Will.
Will's take no shit attitude endears him to all.
Will is a good pillow/blanket.




One more thing: the cat is a freakin ninja. You think he's in the living room? Wrong! Will is in a shrub, half a block away! Upstairs? No! He is is attacking your foot! Right now! Look at him go! Asleep? Haha! He is in your closet knocking over guitars and spilling shoes from from the top shelf! But mostly, he is in the shrub. He really loves that damn shrub.